Ianto is Cool
by whatwouldprongsdo
Summary: Ianto goes undercover in a club, but what will happen? Dun Dun Dun! - Ianto/Jack - Owen/Tosh - Gwen/Rhys -
1. I Resign!

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Torchwood or any of the characters. Although that would be cool...I could get Jack to do my bidding...muahahahaha! (: Anyways, read & review? Hopefully you'll enjoy! By the way this was written for my little sister, so hey Katie! :D

**TORCHWOOD:**

**Fanfiction- Ianto is cool. **

Jack sighed and leant back in his seat. It had been a long day. He reached over for his long-since cold coffee and wished Ianto was still at the hub to make him a fresh cup. It was well known by any one who knew of Torchwood that Ianto Jones' coffee was the stuff of legend.

Rubbing his eyes, Jack almost considered calling Ianto, just so he had something to keep him awake. He _had_ to get this paper done. And who knows? If he finished early and Ianto was there…

Suddenly Jack's phone went off, pulling him from his lewd fantasies.

"Bonjour, you have reeched ze 'ouse of Capitane Jacques 'Arkness; 'ow may I be ov asseestence?"

"Oh very funny Jack." Came Owen's voice. "Listen, I was just leaving this club and there seemed to be some dodgy stuff going on…"

Jack groaned. "What sorta dodgy stuff?"

"Well…this girl collapsed…but they didn't ring an ambulance…they just took her out back…and those who were sober didn't seem to care…and those drunk didn't even notice. I didn't see her for the rest of the night and where they took her is out of bounds to the public. At one point I thought I even heard screams…it's not right Jack."

"I'll be right there…call the others. I'll go and pick them up and meet you there in about 20 minutes…will you be alright?"

"Jack, I'm dead. What kind of a question is that?!"

"Well, be careful."

"Bye, Jack."

Jack placed the phone on the desk and ran over to the invisible lift, pulling his coat on as he did so. He sighed. He would see Ianto, but he didn't think they could do anything…well…not without being arrested anyway. He smirked as he remembered a situation from 20 years before and rose out of the Torchwood Hub and on to the streets of Cardiff.

--

"OK, what have we got?"

"Alarms on every door, window and I'm pretty sure I saw a heat sensor when I tried to break in to the back rooms." Owen answered.

"Ah. This could be tricky." Jack said.

"And they'll be armed…my guess is they don't want visitors." Tosh added.

"Couldn't we just…?" Ianto began, before Owen interrupted: "Send me in!"

"No." Jack said firmly. "I don't want a repitition of the Galey Manor." Owen hastily hid his fractured arm and hand.

"Pleaseee!!" Owen wailed. "PLEASEEE!!"

"Hey, I'm not used to this from a straight guy, but Owen YOU CAN'T HEAL!!" Jack bellowed.

"But Jack, there's no other way in…" Gwen whispered.

Jack shot Gwen a look. Sometimes she really should just keep her mouth shut.

"Couldn't we..?" Ianto tried again, only to be interrupted by Tosh "Shh!! Someone will here us!!"

The team began to have a whispered argument.

"No."

"Jack, you never let m-"

"I said n-"

"Couldn't we..?"

"Jack, he'll be careful!"

"I'm not letting him come out like a peach!"

"But couldn't we just..?"

"I'm with Jack, it's too risky Owen."

"Yeah, well you would say that Tosh…"

"But wouldn't it just be easier if?"

"Tosh is being sensible, something you two can't seem to comprehend!"

"I'll show you..!"  
"I RESIGN!!" Ianto screamed.

The group halted to a stop. "What?" Jack asked, trying to mask the fact he had a lump in his throat.

"Nah, just kidding." Ianto said with a grin. "I was just saying, wouldn't it be easier for someone to go in undercover, then have a look in the back rooms?"

"Oh yeah, well…I suppose that would be easier."

"Good idea!"

"Well done Ianto!

"What do you think Jack?"

Jack's eyes were fixed on Ianto in a stony glare. "Yeah." He said, his eyes not moving. "Good idea…" Ianto's grin faded as he looked at Jack's expression. He had not found Ianto's way of getting attention funny.

"…Yan!!" Jack smiled. Ianto breathed a sigh of relief. "So…who wants to go in?"

Owen had barely drawn breath when Ianto said. "Me."

Jack's stony face returned.


	2. Together Standing Tall!

"So, let's try this again." Owen said to Ianto.

"Gosh, I know what to do, we've been over it a million times!"

"I know, mate." Owen replied apologetically, lowering his voice. "But it's Captain's orders."

Ianto sighed and started spurring out the pre-rehearsed conversation he was to have with the manager of the club. As he finished up, Jack walked in.

"He's got it covered." Owen said with a small smile. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but I think he'll be fine."

"Mm." Jack grunted. Sensing the two needed some time alone, well, as much as someone dead could anyway, Owen went over to talk to Gwen and Tosh.

The two sat in silence for a while, before a weird gulpingy-choky sound was made. Jack glanced at Ianto with a raised eyebrow.

"Sorry…" he said "Choked on a bit of spit."

Jack could not restrain a smile before Ianto continued; "I'll be alright Jack…I always am…"

It was true. From his girlfriend turning in to a cyberwoman and then seeing her killed to major coffee machine explosions, Ianto Jones always managed to get through whatever life threw at him.

Jack merely nodded. He didn't trust himself to speak. He cared more about this man then he dared to admit. Even to himself. And he hated himself so much that he had treated him so flippantly and betrayed him whenever he met any hot guy…or girl…or alien…in a certain sexual situation. He didn't mean to do it…it was just part of his 51st century nature…but enough was enough. Ianto volunteering for this mission made Jack realise how easy it would be to lose him when he was in the line of fire, rather than being safe in the hub. It also made Jack realise how much he couldn't lose him. He was pretty sure if he ever did, he would die…though that wasn't saying much.

Jack was woken from his thoughts by Ianto singing a rendition of the Irish national anthem.

"What the hell?!" Jack said.

"…together standing tall! Umm…well…" Ianto tried to explain, slightly out of breath "I tried the normal ways of snapping you back in to reality…you know…hand gestures, prodding…the odd slap around the face…but you just wouldn't come to! So I thought, let's sing! But I couldn't remember the words to the American National Anthem and I can't pronounce the Welsh one."

"That's coz you're English!" Owen shouted from the background.

"Why did there have to be any National Anthem?!" Jack said before turning to Owen with a 'Wtf?' look.

"I don't know!" Ianto answered Jack. "And Owen, I'm Welsh!"

"You are?" Owen said incredulously "But you only seem to have a Welsh accent when you remember…and you sound downright scary when you're angry…it's…frightening…"

"What the hell is he going on about?" Jack said.

Tosh gasped. "He was working on some sort of drug…he put it in this drink to test it…"

They all looked at Owen who was drinking from a blue mug. "I'm not dwugged. D-Don't be shilly! Oh you're sho shilly Ianto! Gimme a hug!" he started across the room towards Ianto, then suddenly stopped to look at Jack with a confused look. "Dad? What're you doing here?" He then fell to the floor.

They all looked at him for a few seconds. "Can that happen? Y'know, cause he's dead?" Ianto asked.

"It must have been the fumes." Tosh explained.

They all shrugged and carried on with their work.

.


	3. Jones, Tom Jones

Ianto looked at himself in the mirror. His new bar uniform made him look very swathe, even if he did say so himself. It had been relatively easy, once he had convinced Jack, to get the job. Hardly any questions were asked and they were low on bar staff anyway. He stepped out in to the empty club and took his position behind the bar as the first punters were let in. He took a deep breath and smiled.

--

"Ok, Tosh, you keeping an eye on Ianto?"

"Yes, Jack…I managed to get all the CCTV from the club…there's none in the back rooms though."

"How convenient." Owen said.

"Ok, Gwen, do you fancy a night on the town?" Jack said with a million dollar smile.

"Always." She replied.

"Why can't I go?!" Owen demanded.

"Oh yeah, you're gonna look real good standing there all night with wet pants!"

"I won't drink."

"That won't look suspicious at all(!)"

"You can keep Tosh company!" Gwen said brightly.

"I brought sandwiches." Tosh said timidly.

"Shame I can't eat them then really, isn't it Tosh?" Owen sighed. "Go on, go."

Gwen and Jack exited the Hub quickly and emerged in to the cold night.

"It's a bit nippy." Gwen said, stating the obvious.

"Well let's get moving then."

--

_Smash._ A glass hit the floor.

Ianto groaned as the manager came around the corner.

"Jones, is it?" he demanded.

"Yes, sir."

"First name?"

Ianto cringed. "Tom."

"So your name is Tom…Jones?"  
"Yes, sir."

"Are you trying to be funny, boy?" the manager said, drawing himself to his full height of 5' 4".

"No, not at all." Ianto explained, cursing Gwen for her input in the creation of Ianto's alias. "My mother was a very big fan…knicker-throwing and all the rest…"

The manager stared at him with beady eyes for a few seconds, before breaking in to a toothy grin. "My wife's exactly the same…in fact she said I look a bit like him, what do you think?"

Ianto glanced at the short, broad man. He had the hair…but that was about it.  
"Oh…you're much better-looking, sir." Ianto lied.

The manager laughed. "Call me Jack." Shaking Ianto's hand and striding off.

Why? Why did he have to be called Jack? This could get very confusing.

Just then, his phone rang: "_It's not unusual to be loved, by anyone…"_. At that moment, he REALLY hated Gwen.

"Tom, it's Jack."

"Oh hey, Jack."

"Just to let you know Gwen and I are on our way…how's your job going?"

"Oh, quite well. The manager liked my name. Mm…shame I can't say the same for the other bar staff. I've had knickers falling out of my locker ever since I got here! Where do they get them from?!"

He heard Gwen stifling a laugh on the other side of the line.

"Tell Gwen I hate her Jack."

"Will do…anyway…you be careful…we don't know what's going on or who's in on it!"

"Jack, I'll be fine." Ianto replied, before closing down the phone.

"Girlfriend trouble?" Jack the manager said, once again rounding the corner.

"N-yes." He couldn't see Jack the manager being accepting of homosexuals.

"Women." He said. "I'm guessing Jack is short for Jacqueline?"

"Yeah."

"You ought to be careful! You don't want people to think you're going out with a guy. That's seen as…a bit funny here."

"Well, there's no worries there then." Ianto smiled falsely.

The manager nodded and disappeared once again. Ianto sighed as he leant on the bar. So his manager was a possible homophobic alien. Things just kept getting better.


	4. The Real Owen?

_SOZ FOR THE SHORT CHAPTER. ALSO, THANKS AGAIN FOR ALL YOUR REVIEWS!!_

"You bastard piece of technology!" Owen shook the computer screen before falling backwards in his chair, swearing under his breath.

"Umm…Owen? You just…" Tosh leant over him and fixed the screen by pressing a single button. Owen groaned. "Thanks."

"It's OK…I know how you must be feeling." Owen gave a non-committal grunt. Tosh pressed on. "I mean, I feel, well, we all feel, that Jack made a mistake…even Jack does, in bringing you back."

"So you would've rather me dead?" Owen spat, but instantly regretted it as he saw Tosh's eyes well with tears.

"That night was one of the worst of my life. Don't you dare say I want you dead." She whispered almost silently before turning and walking away to her desk.

"Tosh…Tosh I'm sorry…that was out of order." She didn't reply. "How can I make it up to you?" Tosh looked around with watery eyes. Was this really the same Owen? Seeing this question etched on her face, he answered solemnly "Death can change a man, Tosh."

The corners of her mouth twitched at Owen's voice and expression and he knew he'd won her over.

"I know!" he said, with a bolt of inspiration "Let's go out for a game of pool! I bet even a dead guy could beat you!"

"I'll take you up on that offer."

"Shall we make it more interesting?"

"Say twenty?"

"Actually money is kind of meaningless to me now…how about, if I win, I take you out…"

Tosh's breath caught in her throat "And if I win?"

"Well, you can decided what we do."

She blushed manically "Ok. Deal."

Owen beamed. "Ok, let's go!"

"Owen we can't! What if the team needs us?"

"They can handle themselves!" Owen said. Tosh looked doubtful. "Look, I tell you what, we'll take our phones and your pocket navigator-tracker-ness-ness-thing. What is it by the way?"

"It's a…never mind." Tosh said, changing her mind about telling Owen the full name of her device.

"Please Tosh. Pretty please with a cherry on top. I'll give you the cherry!" Owen squeaked in the sweetest voice he could muster.

Tosh gave in. "Ok, one game, then straight back. Agreed?"

"Yayyy!! Thank you Toshi-Woshi!"

Tosh just laughed as she followed Owen out of the hub


	5. Ja, I Am Sven

_I'M SORRY IF I CONFUSE YOU WITHIN THIS CHAPTER! ALSO, I MEAN NO OFFENCE TO SWEDISH PEOPLE WHATSOEVER. :)_

Jack and Gwen strode in to the neon club and noticed at once Ianto behind the bar

Jack and Gwen strode in to the neon club and noticed at once Ianto behind the bar.

"Hey Tom!" Gwen said brightly. Ianto just gave her a glare before turning his eyes to Jack.

"There's been a slight problem."

Just at that moment, Jack the manager strode around the corner. Ianto sighed exasperatedly. How did he keep managing to appear at the most inopportune moments?

"Ah!" Jack the manager said "Is this Jaq?" The Captain was about to answer before Ianto butted in. "Yes, that's my girlfriend!"

Gwen and the Captain looked at Ianto. "Jacqueline, this is my boss…Jack."

A look of confusion spread across Gwen's face as her brain tried to process what she had just heard. Finally it clicked and she beamed. "Oh! Nice to meet you!"

"The pleasure is all mine." The manager said charmingly, bowing slightly.

Captain Jack still looked confused. "And this is…? Hang on…" the manager said, slightly puzzled, "I'm pretty sure I heard you say something about a Gwen?"

Ianto panicked. "Umm…no-no-no…I said…" he racked his brains…what rhymed with Gwen? Mwen….Bwen…Twen…Jwen…Swen… "SVEN!!" he screamed "Yeah! This is Sven!!"

They all rounded on the Captain. Putting on the best Swedish accent he could, he replied.

"Ja, that is correct. I am Sven. I am from Sveden."

The manager did not look totally convinced, but if he suspected anything, he did not voice it. As he left, no doubt to reappear again sometime soon, Jack turned angrily to Ianto.

"SVEN!" he whispered furiously "Of everything you could have thought of! I don't even look Swedish!"

"I dunno.." Gwen cut in, "You have the eyes."

"She's right actually!" Ianto said, looking at Jack. "All you need is to go blonde!"

"Blonde?" Jack said sarcastically.

"It could work, y'know…it's dark in here, you can't really tell you're hair colour…"

"I've been blonde before…it did NOT look good. I looked like some sorta boy angel."

"Oh come on Jack! Just for this job!"

"I'll do it!" said Gwen. "I used to love to play hairdresser!"

"Blonde's have more fun…" Ianto said tauntingly.

"Gah…ok."

"Eep! I'll bring it in tomorrow morning!" Gwen squealed excitedly.

Jack sighed. Who knows? Maybe he would have more fun…


	6. Mysterious Ticking Noise

_JUST FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DON'T KNOW, THE END BIT IS THE MYSTERIOUS TICKING NOISE BY POTTER PUPPET PALS. MY SISTER GAVE ME THIS IDEA :) DISCLAIMER- I DO NOT OWN POTTER PUPPET PALS, BUT THEY ARE PRETTY AWESOME. :D_

"Right, what are you having?"

Owen gave Tosh a sceptical look. "Oh…right." She mumbled and hastily busied herself putting money into the nearest pool table.

"Do you want to break?" she asked lightly.

"Yeah give it here." Owen answered, taking one of the cues Tosh was now holding.

Ten minutes later Tosh was in a winning streak she had potted all but one of her balls.

"Beginner's luck." Owen said to any passer-by. Tosh just smiled as she took a strike at her last ball and it landed with a clunk into the hole.

"What were you saying about beating me?" she said, smiling slightly as she eyed-up the black ball.

"Oh…I'm letting you win…it's gentlemanly, right?"

"Of course." Tosh said in mock agreement and she bent over to take the shot that would win her the game. "Yes!" she squealed as it rolled in to the top hole. Another thing happened to lift her spirits; as she turned around she was certain that Owen's eyes had snapped up from somewhere in her lower region.

"Listen, Tosh…" Owen began, but at that moment her phone beeped.

"Oh no!" she said worriedly "Jack and the rest are coming back to the Hub!"

Owen grabbed her wrist and they both sprinted back to the Hub.

--

"I'm really not sure about this Gwen."

"Oh, come on, you'll look great!"

"No, really, I think I'd better.."

"Jack, get back in the chair NOW."

It was the next morning and, as promised, Gwen had bought in blonde hair dye to make Captain Jack's Swedish role more convincing.

Tosh and Ianto laughed as they witnessed this bizarre scene. Suddenly, Owen ran over to them and held Jack still whilst Gwen rubbed the dye through his hair.

"No! Geroff!" Jack screamed as he struggled with the two. He threw them off in the end, however, it was too late!

"Aah!" Jack gasped as he caught his reflection in the shiny steel sides of the Torchwood hub.

"You look…nice." Tosh said.

But the other's faces said it all. They were all stifling giggles. He did not suit blonde hair. It made him looked like he was wearing tons of fake tan and he looked like a cross between a Barbie and a Ken.

A few minutes later, they were all sitting in silence.

Jack was still grumpy over the hair.

Owen and Gwen were sitting smugly, very pleased with themselves and Ianto and Tosh were busy at their stations. All you could hear was the ticking of a clock.

"You know, that noise…it's…kinda catchy." Ianto said. He opened his mouth and:

"Jones, Jones, Ianto Jones," the others looked at him bewildered "Jones, Jones, Ianto Jones."

All of a sudden, Tosh got a sense of inspiration. "Toshiko"

"Jones, Jones, Ianto Jones!" "Toshiko!" Then the others joined in.

"Gwen, Gwen, Gwen Cooper! ("Toshiko") "Gwen, Gwen, Gwen Cooper!"

"Owen." ("Jones, Jones, Ianto Jones," "Toshiko!" "Gwen, Gwen, Gwen Cooper!") "Owen."

Jack stood up and did a dance: "Captain Jack, Captain Jack, OOH, Captain Jack, Captain Jack, that's me!"

Ianto and Jack faced eachother, whilst the others silenced: "Jones." "Jack." "Jones." "Jack." "Jones!" "Jack!" "sjfohiorgetngr8te!"

"TOSHIKO!!"

"Owwwwennnnnnnnnnnnn!"

They all carried on until: "Singing our song, all day long at TOOORRCHHWOOOOOOOD!!"

"I found the source of the ticking! It's a pipe bomb!" Gwen said.

"Really?" Jack said, sharply.

"No." Gwen said disappointed, but was thrown off by Tosh saying: "NAKED TIME!" beginning to take off her clothes.

"I quite agree." Ianto said solemnly.

--


	7. The Kiss

_THANKS AGAIN FOR SUCH WONDERFUL REVIEWS!  
NOW, UNFORTUNATELY I AM GOING BACK TO SCHOOL ON TUESDAY -groan  
AND AS SUCH, UPDATES WILL PROBABLY BE LESS FREQUENT, HOWEVER, KEEP THE REVIEWS COMING AND I HOPE YOU ENJOY!!_

Ianto strode in to the club, quietly humming 'Night Fever.' It was his eighth night in the club and still nothing unusual had happened. In fact, the rest of the team were starting to doubt Owen's accusations, but he remained stubborn that something weird was occurring. So Ianto was still working there.

"Hey Tom!" a man called from the bar. Ianto waved and sent a message to Tosh saying he was in position. Gwen and Jack (or Jacqueline and Sven) kept making frequent visits, sometimes separately, sometimes together to the pub to keep an eye on Ianto and to make it convincing he had a life outside of the club.

This time it was only a matter of minutes before the two of them came bounding up to Ianto at the bar.

"She can't keep away from ya, hey?" Jack the manager chuckled as he passed by Ianto. Ianto was coming to the conclusion that the manager liked Gwen as he always seemed to appear more frequently when she was there, however, he could not ask him this because of the manager's marital status.

"Y'know," the manager said, stopping by Ianto's side and placing a hand on his shoulder "Considering you two are an item," he gestured at Gwen and Ianto "I haven't seen you ever…get intimate…at all!"

"Of course we do! We just prefer not to canoodle in public!" Gwen answered quickly.

"Oh come on! Just one little snog!" the manager said "Just so I know that you haven't been telling fibs!" he hiccoughed. Ianto noticed a hint of sherry in his breath.

Captain Jack glanced at Ianto. It looked like he was going to have to kiss Gwen. Ianto slowly leant over the bar to be met by Gwen in the middle. Just then, the door to the club opened. A draft of air flew around the club, blowing in a group of about seven rowdy men. The captain turned away from them, back to the scene unfolding in front of him.

"Gwen?!" an unsure voice said from the group of men. The Captain whipped around as Ianto and Gwen broke apart and saw a stricken Rhys.

"Ja, that is me!" Jack screamed hastily and grabbed Rhys' arm, dragging him in to the men's.

"Well, that wasn't so hard? Was it?" the manager said, slowly walking away.

Ianto and Gwen just looked at each other.

--

"WHAT'S GOING ON?!" Rhys roared at Jack who was holding him in a tight grip as Rhys struggled to return to the bar.

"Rhys! Rhys! Listen to me!" Jack said, slamming the man in to the wall. "If you don't shut up you'll ruin this operation!"

Rhys quietened and stopped struggling so viciously. "You mean to tell me, that this is for a job?"

"Yes. We panicked. The manager overheard Ianto on the phone. He thought that Jack (ie. Me) was Ianto's girlfriend. So Gwen is Jacq. (for Jacqueline), Ianto is called Tom and I'm…Sven. So don't act surprised when I sound Swedish. Now…"

"Wait…" Rhys said, looking severe. "Your hair…is…is…" he then broke in to peals of laughter. "Oh dear! It looks…nice." He said chuckling.

"Thanks, your wife did it. Now…" (Rhys automatically stopped laughing) "We need to think how you know me…and you should probably have an alias in case they check up on us."

"Oh, I don't mind…"

"We should probably have a Welsh name…like…um…"

"Me cousin's called Kai."

"Perfect!" the two made to walk outside.

"Bloomin' heck." Rhys said in a quiet voice. "When I walked through that door…I didn't know what to think! I thought it was always you I had to watch out for!"

"Yeah, well, don't worry Rhys." Jack said "Gwen loves you. She really does. And no matter what it seems like, I do love her, but like a sister. My heart is with someone else." Jack was not sure what had brought this on. It was his first time he had confessed he was in love to anyone in years. There was something about the hurt, jealousy and slight anger he and Rhys shared when they saw Gwen and Ianto share that kiss that made Jack tell him. And he felt good for it."

"Good…should I er, watch out for this Ianto?"

Jack smiled. "No, I don't think he'll ever be a problem where Gwen is concerned."


	8. I'm A Vegetarian!

Jack paced around the Hub. He was still shocked by his confession to Rhys. Did he love Ianto? Well…he seemed to… But…love was something Jack couldn't experience on a regular basis. It hurt too much. They always died, while he always lived on. He imagined life without Ianto…him dying at the hands of an alien…him dying in the pub…who was he kidding? Of course he loved Ianto! And hopefully he felt the same way…but…this was terrible. When feelings got this strong…Jack couldn't keep it going! It wouldn't be fair to Ianto…or to himself.

"I've got to end it." Jack murmured to himself, wiping a lone tear from the corner of his eye.

---

"T-t-tell your boyfriend, if he says he's got beef, that I'm a vegetarian and I ain't fucking scared of him!"

"Are you a vegetarian?"

"Shut up Ianto."

"No, no…I liked it. Now, Owen…have you got beef?"

"OWEN PUT THE PLANT POT DOWN!"

"Yes, Captain." Owen said. "Side with lover-boy why don't you."

Jack swallowed. "Ianto, I need to talk to you."

Ianto followed Jack into the Hot House and turned to face him. "Yes, sir?" he said with a cheeky smile.

Jack smiled weakly; why did he have to make this harder than it already was?!?!

"Umm…Ianto…"

"This doesn't sound good. Is Janet sick?" Ianto asked with genuine concern.

"No-no…Janet's fine." Jack answered distractedly. "Look, this, us, we I mean, me and you…it…"

"Yeah?"

"I can't do it any more."

Ianto's smile faltered. "Wha- I mean…why?"

"I just…can't."

"Is it Gwen?"

"No! No…it's not you or her or anyone…it's me."

"Pfft! Good clichéd answer there! Well done! First normal thing you've done ever!"  
"I'm sorry." Jack said and left.

---

"SHIT!" Ianto said as he broke his second glass that night, it splitting his hand open.

"Tom, Tom, Tom." Manager Jack sighed. "I'll take it off your pay check."

Ianto nodded, holding back tears that were threatening to spill.

"Is everything ok, mate? You haven't been your usual self."

"Mmm."

"Y'know, you can tell me. Creates a better relationship if we trust one another. Is it Jacq?"

Ianto's head shot up. "What about Jack?" he said quickly.

"Oh Tom. You've broken up haven't you?" The manager said, unable to keep the glee from his voice. Ianto suddenly clicked.

"Oh right. Yeah. How did you know?"

"I can see into your soul!!!" the manger said mystically, chuckling to himself. "Look, it'll be alright." He said, patting Ianto on the shoulder and walking off.

Ianto picked up his phone. "Gwen? You can't come in here any more. I had to tell him me and you broke up."

"What?! Why?!"

"Cause he asked if me and Jack had broken up…and…I didn't think…"

"Oh. I see. Ianto, is everything alright with you and-"

"So I guess Tosh or someone will have to come in and keep an eye on me."

"Yeah. Or Rhys can. I'll ask him. But…Jack was due to come in tonight with me…do you want me to tell him-"

"It's fine. I have no problem with Sven."

"Ok, I'll see you tomorrow." Gwen said and hung up the phone.

Ianto silently cursed. How was he going to survive this?


	9. Chinese food

**Woah, I haven't written in a while! My sister finally managed to get me to do this. I know some of you had trouble with Chapter 8...I hope that's not the case any more. Any who, enjoy! =]**

Jack stared in to space. He'd made the right decision, hadn't he? Well, the right decision for Ianto? Well…the decision that kept the hurt minimum? For both of them? Jack sighed frustratedly. Why couldn't he die?!?!?!

"Captain, it's time to go." Tosh said softly from the doorway. Jack looked up, hurriedly wiping the tears from his eyes.

"Sir, are you ok?"

"I'm fine, fine."

"Sir, do you want me to go tonight?" Tosh said, using her knack of tact. Jack stared at her, deliberating. "Yes." He said, regaining his composure. "Yes, I think that would be best." He sat back down in his chair with a broken sigh.

"I'll keep in touch." Tosh said and she left for the club.

***

"Tom?" Tosh asked tentatively. Ianto's head shot up.

"Oh, hello, Jenny." Ianto used the alias.

"I'd thought I'd pop in and see you…work ok?"

"Yeah, yeah, work's great…um…no Sven today?" Ianto asked casually.

"No…he, er, said he thought it best if I came alone." She said dropping her voice.

Ianto just nodded. He was relieved…but upset that Jack hadn't come.

"Tom?" Tosh begun again.

"Mm?" Ianto replied, eyes on a glass he was cleaning.

"What happened between you and Jack?"

"Nothing." He answered automatically.

"Tom?" she said, her voice gentle.

"We broke up." He said, his voice breaking.

"Oh, Tom." Tosh said, patting his arm. "When do you get off?"

"Another hour." He said glumly.

"Tom, you can leave now." Jack the manager called unexpectedly from across the bar.

"What?" Ianto and Tosh asked.

"Yeah, I'm sick of seeing your face!!! Go cheer up, then you can come back!"

"Um, sure…Jenny? Shall we leave?" Ianto asked, a hint of confusion still in his voice.

"Yeah…there's a nice Chinese, down the road…let me take you out to dinner!" she said brightly.

Behind them the manager's face grew mischievously evil, as he held Ianto's mobile in his hand.

"Well, that was a surprise." Tosh said as she and Ianto walked down the chilly high street.

"Yeah…a surprise." Tosh looked at Ianto sympathetically and pushed open the door to the Chinese restaurant. They sat down at a table. "Right." She said. "Tell me everything."

***

Meanwhile, Gwen was on her way home to Rhys. Her phone rung and Ianto's (or Tom's) number flashed on screen. _Odd _Gwen thought _We're supposed to have broken up_. She pulled over and picked it up.

"Hello?" she began.

"Oh, Jacqueline! I'm glad I got hold of you!" Jack the manager's voice sounded.

"Why what's happened?"

"It's Tom, he's had an accident…you better come quickly…he's refusing an ambulance."

"Oh. OH! Ok, I'm on my way!" _Bloody Ianto _she thought _This could ruin the whole operation_.

"Jack." She spoke in to the hands free set. "We have a problem. Ianto's gone and had an _accident_." She said the word patronisingly.

"Oh my gosh! What's happened?!"

"I don't know, but they're considering an ambulance." Gwen rolled her eyes.

"Gwen! Be a bit more caring please." The captain said sharply.

"Sorry, it's just he's such a klutz at that place."

"So would you be under that kind of pressure!" Jack said and he hung up.


	10. I Can't

THANK YOU FOR ALL YOUR REVIEWS!!! I feel so loved and Jim, hope you're happy. 

Jack was driving in the SUV. Fast. Much too fast.

*Flash*

"Crap." Jack said as he zoomed past the speed camera, contemplating the idea of blasting it with a bullet…or maybe a very small missile. But no, what would that do to Torchwood's street cred?

"Oh Ianto." Jack sighed. The boy was hurt. Hurt enough for an ambulance. Yet he was refusing one, so it couldn't be too bad. The overwhelming anxiety Jack felt made him wonder if he had been to hasty in his decision to end it with Ianto.

But wait, this wasn't about him. This was about Ianto. Being safe. And happy. H-A-P-P-Y. Happy.

"And what about your happiness?"

"WAAAAHHHHH!!!!!! Who's there?!?!?!" Jack yelled, swerving violently.

"Your little people who live on your shoulders. The thoughts at the back of your mind."

"I don't care who you are! Get out!"

The voice sighed. "But Jack, I'm now a part of you. I have all your thoughts…feelings…memories…"

"You're not a part of me! You're a Conzienzo! The little cricket of my conscience! You're alien! You imbed youself in people's heads and talk to them!"

"Fine you've caught me(!)" The voice said sarcastically. "But isn't it a brilliant thing? I guide you to do the right thing, you can't harm me because I'm in your head. It's failsafe."

"What do you want?"

"I want what's best for me and in that, best for you, Jack. Or should I say…"

"DON'T say."

"Yes I know, I know. Now, can you slow down? I don't feel like being smeared across a windscreen."

"Ianto." Jack replied.

"Oh he's fine. You know that. But doesn't this worry make you ask yourself (or me-haha) one teensy question?"

"What?"  
"What are you going to do about Ianto?"

--

"I thought we had it." Ianto said, swirling chow mein around his plate "I thought 'Yeah! He cares for me. This is working'. It wasn't just fun any more, you know? There were FEELINGS. And that's a big deal- for me- after…Lisa. I never thought I'd love again. Well…I never knew I was bi, so really I don't know much at all!! Hell, in the next year I could be pregnant with some Weevil's babies!"

"I know Ianto. I thought you were good too." Tosh said sympathetically. "I've never seen Jack so…content as when he's with you."

"So…so…w-why…did he break up with…me?" The last word was uttered with a sob.

"Oh Ianto, don't cry!" Tosh said, rubbing the man's arm. "It's ok. He must have a motive. I know for a fact he hasn't just 'gone off you'."

"Ha! It's Jack. It makes sense now. I'm last week's news…yesterday's dinner…last months spuds growing eyes of their own!"  
"Never. Ianto, listen to me, it's the general consensus in the Hub that what Jack feels for you…is deeper than anything he's felt before. You can tell in his mannerisms…what he says…the way he looks at you!"

"No. He doesn' want me."

--

"I want him." Jack finally admitted, his voice cracking. "But the people I love always end up getting hurt or I lose them. I can't die. They can die so easily. I should know, I've suffered some of them."

"But why keep yourself in misery? Surely it's better to have the love and pain AND the happiness? Rather than the first two?"

"But Ianto has to be kept safe. He'll get over me. Everyone always does."

"Ah- see, now you're lying. Jack, you're arrogant enough to see that it would take Ianto a HELL of a long time to get over you. And it would be painful. For both of you. He's already lost one person he's loved. And you wonder if he loves you more."

"I can't."

"You CAN."

"NO I CAN'T!!!!!!"


	11. AN: I'm sorry!

**Ok…I'm a horrible person. I've been on the end of a non-updating fanfic and it is rather frustrating. I'msorry I'msorry I'msorry I'msorry I'msorry I'msorry I'msorry I'msorry! But the truth is I've had rather mega writer's block and really did not know where I wanted this to go. I'm wracking my brains as we speak and if everything goes according to plan, I'll update again in the next 48 hours.  
To be honest though, I think there will only be a couple more chapters.  
I started writing this as a bit of fun and didn't plan at all. It was almost completely spontaneous. If anyone has any ideas, I'll gladly take some direction, but I think this story has had its day.**

**Thank you all for your reviews and favouriting. I really appreciate it and hope you're all liking the new series of Torchwood  
**

**Bye!**


	12. Lonely, but not alone

**So here we go again. Thank you to all of you who have stuck with this story. I was re-reading it just now and you can really tell it was my first story on . The layout is awful aha. Ok so here is Chapter 12. Enjoy!**

The realisation hit Jack like a ton of bricks. He physically could _not_ continue this relationship. He'd always known it in his head, but now it was painfully and obviously clear. Here he was, fretting over Ianto. He wasn't dead, he wasn't even unconscious and yet Jack couldn't control the raw anxiety cascading through his body. He, Jack, couldn't die. But Ianto could. Ianto could get hurt in any situation, any day. How would Jack be able to handle it?

When the question met no answer, he realised the Conscienzo alien had gone dormant again. He sighed. A weary sigh that represented every emotion he'd every felt, every loss he'd ever experienced and just how very lonely he was. _Lonely but not alone._ Ianto had said that to him earlier that year, before they'd started hooking up. In fact, today was the only day he'd felt lonely since the start of his relationship with Ianto.  
_Surely it's better to love and lose…than to never love at all? _That's the sort of thing Tosh would come out with. Ianto obviously wasn't handling the break-up well. Was he being selfish? Maybe. Then the answer faced him: you're losing him now anyway. You're not just going to fall magically out of love with him; his death will still hurt, regardless.  
_But maybe I could get over him before that happened. _He countered. Now that certainly was selfish. He pulled up outside the bar and stepped out. That didn't matter right now. All that mattered was making sure Ianto was ok.

Tosh's phone buzzed on the table. "Hello?" she answered.  
"T-osh…" came the static reply of Gwen on the phone.  
"Gwen? What's wrong?"  
"Somethi-….not right…danger…trap…AHHHHHHHH!" The line went dead.  
"Gwen! GWEN?" Tosh yelled down the phone. Ianto looked at her wide-eyed. "Where was she?"  
Tosh hastily pulled out her tracking device. She looked to Ianto "Back at the bar."  
They both shot from the table and out of the restaurant and down the street.

'_Why is the bar closed?' _Jack thought 'I_t's still relatively early.' _The bar was absolutely deserted and in darkness. Jack reached for the light switch. Nothing. He took out his torch. "Hello?" he called. No response. "Ominous." He voiced aloud and made his way into the back rooms.  
"Hello Sven." A voice sounded from the darkness. Jack felt the contact of a large, blunt object with his skull, before falling unconscious.


	13. Final Countdown

**Dear Readers, I think this will be the last chapter. Thank you for sticking with this story, even though I have been beyond awful with updating. I appreciate all of your reviews and favourites. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this. Thanks, bye! **

Jack opened his eyes and blinked a few times to get focus. He saw a single lightbulb hanging from a grotty ceiling. He groaned, feeling pain in the back of his skull. Everything came back to him and he sat forward with a jolt. Opposite him were his three friends, bound and gagged. He tried to move his own wrists and feet, confirming the fact that he, too, were tied up.

"What's going on?" he asked, urgently. A low chuckle met his ears and Jack the manager appeared from behind him.  
"Alright there, Mr Harkness?" he questioned, a mocking smile firmly in place on his face.  
Jack frowned. "How do you know my name?"  
"Oh, don't you remember me? I suppose I have had a haircut since that day…"  
"What day? When?" Jack asked.  
Jack the manager walked over to where Gwen was sitting and casually ran his hand across her jaw.  
"I changed my name as well." He said, lazily. "Got this job, set a few suspicious-looking scenarios and after that it was all too easy…"  
Jack's eyes narrowed as Gwen flinched. "So what is your name?"  
"Just call me Smith."  
"Ok…Smith." Jack repeated. "What was all too easy?"  
Smith laughed at that. "Dear me, you really have no idea how predictable you are, do you Harkness? I know you work with aliens, so I knew you'd come to investigate as soon as things started getting a bit weird 'round here. Did you think I wouldn't recognise you? With the blonde hair and that _pitiful_ attempt at a Swedish accent?"  
"Well then why?" Jack pressed, trying to buy time to figure out a plan. "Why lure me here? What do you want?"  
The smile faded from Smith's face. "Revenge." He turned and pulled out a gun.  
"DON'T" Jack yelled. But Smith had already pulled the trigger. BANG. A scream filled the air. He had shot Tosh in the leg. She was now sobbing, her breath coming raggedly as she tried to withstand the agony.  
"It's not nice seeing someone you care about get hurt, is it?" Smith said, turning back to face Jack. "Well, that's step one."  
"What did I do to you?" Jack croaked. Smith shot him the filthiest look imaginable.  
"What did you do to me? WHAT DID YOU _DO_!" he yelled. "YOU TOOK EVERYTHING FROM ME. EVERYTHING! And now you've forgotten her! Like she were just an animal that needed to be put down because it was ill! She was my _WIFE_!" Smith took a deep breath to steady himself. "But never mind that. Mariana will be avenged."  
_Mariana. _Jack thought. "Darren?" he enquired. "Darren Smith?"  
"He finally remembers." Darren said bitterly.  
"I am…so sorry." Jack began. "But Mariana, she was infected…she was _hurting _people…"  
"STOP!" Darren cried. "She was ILL! She needed help and you slaughtered her!"  
"I didn't kill Mariana." Jack said evenly. "Mariana Smith was long gone by the time we got there."  
Darren was now crying, grabbing at his hair in a frenzy. "You still took her from me! My sweet Mari. She used to love marigolds, you know. Always got her a bunch on her birthday. I can't do that anymore." He looked to Jack. "Now you will know what it is like to watch someone you love die. Step two." He raised his gun and pointed it to Ianto.  
"You broke up with him earlier today, Jack. But I can tell by the sheer horror in your face that you love him. Even if you haven't admitted it yet." He chuckled darkly. "That's quite poetic, really."  
He cocked his gun.  
"NO!" Jack screamed. "DON'T! It's me who killed your wife! Me who wrecked your life! Kill me! Kill me instead!"  
"Why this is touching." Darren said "I was taking a stab in the dark when I said you were in love with him, but you actually are. How sw-" he paused as he heard footsteps outside of the door. Fear entered his eyes as he aimed his gun straight at the door. It swung open to reveal Owen.  
"Sorry I'm late." He said.  
BANG. The gun fired for a second time, straight in to Owen's chest.  
"Sorry, mate." He said "Can't die." And he fired. Darren fell to the ground, the wound in his chest pooling blood onto the floor around him. Owen kicked the gun away from him and then went to untie the gang. As soon as Jack was free, he walked straight over to Darren. "I'm sorry." He whispered, sincerely. Darren just looked at him as he choked once more, before falling still.  
Jack sighed and went over to his friends. It was one of the necessities of the job he'd become accustomed to over the years, but that didn't make it any easier.

"Jack can I have a word?" Ianto asked later that evening, while they waited in a hospital corridor for Tosh to come out of surgery.  
"Sure." He said, knowing what was coming.  
Ianto bit his lip. "So…he said…he said you were in love with me. You didn't deny it."  
"No." Jack confirmed.  
"So is it true?"  
Jack sighed. "It's irrelevant, Ianto."  
"Well, I don't know, I think it's pretty relevant."  
"You could have died there tonight!" Jack said loudly "And then I would be alone. Again."  
Ianto looked on sympathetically. "But that's exactly why we should be spending as much time together as possible!"  
"You don't understand how hard it is for me, Ianto. To watch everyone I love die! I'm being selfish, I know but…"  
"Then be selfless." Ianto countered, simply and he kissed him. He pulled away softly "You can't tell me you don't want to be with me Jack." He breathed "Surely a lifetime of denying yourself love is worse than experiencing it, then losing it."  
Jack closed his eyes. Ianto had it in the bag. Jack pulled him in for another kiss to let him know that and he felt Ianto smile, almost smugly.

Yes, this was better. For now.

**Well…that's it. Finito. I don't know if the ending's as strong as it could have been, but as I keep reiterating, I ran out of steam a bit. Sorry. But all is well for now, at least.  
Darren saw through poor Jack's Swedish accent. He'll have to work on that a bit, I guess :P**

As some of you may have noticed, I have started writing another fanfic that is Harry Potter-based. I understand if that's not your kind of thing, but if it is I'd be grateful if you checked it out.

**Thanks again for reading. Your reviews have made many-a-day for me and so I give you all individual cyber-hugs. To all of you:  
**workingsomecoffeemagic  
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**Thank you all 3**


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